More Peace - What is a Genuine Encounter?

Go to work, grocery shop, neaten the house, plan
the birthday party, buy a gift for another child's,
baseball practice, soccer practice, CCD,
mow the lawn, pay bills, cook dinner. Sound familiar?

It's hard to find time for a Genuine Encounter
amongst all these things to do. I feel tired
just to writing down this litany of daily life.

How do you find time? You don't. But you can make
time. With your other list of to-do's, add "have
a genuine encounter". This will help you make time
in your day to connect with your child through a
genuine encounter.

What is a genuine encounter? It is togetherness
without thinking about anything else. It's truly
being with your child and connecting from the heart.

I'm reading Eckhart Tolle's book, "A New Earth."
In it, on page 104, under Conscious Parenting is
the following description, which I feel is a great
way to describe a genuine encounter:


"As you look at, listen to, touch, or help your child with this
or that, you are alert, still, completely present, not wanting
anything other than that moment as it is. In this way, you make
room for Being. In that moment, if you are present you are not a
father or a mother. You are alertness, stillness, the Presence
that is listening, looking, touching, even speaking. You are Being
behind the doing.

So, instead of thinking about where you need to get to or
what you need to do in the future that hastens this moment,
which results in impatience and frustration, stop and just
Be in the moment.

What does this look like? Let's say your kindergartener
can't find her shoes, coat, or backpack, and is thus
going to make your other 3 older kids late for school.
Instead of reacting out of frustration, impatience, and
anger knowing that everyone's going to be late, stop and
just be present. Don't react. Help your child figure out
where the items were left and help her gather them. Leave
the house peacefully. In the evening, have a conversation
with your child to figure out ways to help prevent the same
thing from happening again.

Try "Being" out for a day, a week, and even longer. What
I bet you'll notice is your child responds in kind. "Things"
start to run more smoothly.

You will feel connected to your child, your child will feel
connected to you, you aren't nagging and reminding, and your
child doesn't feel pushed, threatened, cajoled, agitated, and
mad. Instead, you'll achieve a kind of routine where drama is
minimized and ease maximized.

Try it out...